An announcement and good news! The Bloggerella hasn't become just another defunct hole on the internets, and I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Very much the opposite in fact, and I'm back with even more good news to share:
Rob and I are expecting our very first child!
...still need to pinch myself. We're having a baby. Holy crap!
One of the things I've loved most about writing The Bloggerella, is that it's slowly become a digital diary of my adult life. Granted, almost every entry has been focused on personal style, but life was fervently sprinkled throughout and every chapter has been documented here. I'm a natural-born sharer, so it seems only right that I continue The Bloggerella in the same vein, but with a slight focus on the experiences (and failures) of my 1st pregnancy!
So, let's talk pregnancy (unless you're here for fashion, in that case come back tomorrow!). Pregnancy is the only time in life where you can feel feminine and disgusting at the time (and vacillate between the two, every 5 minutes). And as I'm now safely into my second trimester, I'm bursting at the seams to reflect on my first. Truth? It was a nightmare. And another truth? I don't love being pregnant...yet.
What started as typical morning sickness, slowly revealed itself to be a high-risk disorder that took over our lives for almost 4 months. Because a vast majority of women experience morning (#alldaysickness) for the first few weeks, my OB thought nothing of my symptoms. When I wasn't asleep I was throwing up, and when I wasn't throwing up I was fainting. By the second month, I could no longer make it into the city for work, I weighed less than I did my senior year of high school and developed extreme anxiety...aka I was bedridden.
And then the worst of it happened. I blacked out and fainted at the train station, while trying to get to a doctor's appointment. I was alone, underground and unconsciousness - but by some amount of grace, a woman passing by saw the whole thing happen. It was the scariest moment of my life, mainly because I can't remember any details. I hit my head pretty hard, but luckily this woman had already rushed over when she saw me go down and was by my side until the ambulance arrived. There's irony here for two reasons. 1 - It's easy to go unnoticed amongst the hustle and bustle of NYC, but this day, someone happened to look up and take note of my accident. 2 - If it hadn't happened, I don't know that my doctors would have discovered the real issue. When I say 'thyroid disorder' it sounds tame enough, but what we've learned is that thyroid disease in pregnancy, if left untreated, can cause miscarriage, among a host of other scary issues. That's all we really needed to hear to start taking the necessary steps toward getting me healthy. That, and the uber strong heartbeat of baby Brann during an early ultrasound!
I'm happy to report that while I'm still dealing with uncomfortable complications, medication and more doctor's visits than I've ever had, I'm on the road to recovery and baby Brann is doing great! But with all of that going on, it's no wonder I haven't had a chance to enjoy being pregnant. I've spent the first trimester full of so much anxiety, but what I realized is that my anxiety was over my loss of control. I lost control of my body, lost control of my health, but ultimately gained so much more. The amount of love I already feel for our unborn child is something I'm sure many mothers have a hard time describing. And it's even tougher to find words to describe the feeling Rob and I get when we fall into hour-long conversations about things as trivial as a middle name or whose sense of humor the baby will have (Please, God let it be an awkward mix of the two! lol). But I know we're both prepared to do whatever it takes to bring our little babe into the world just as happy, healthy and loved as he or she deserves.
So, here's to documenting the next few months of discovery! A dear friend recently reminded me that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. True. I hope you'll join me in the next chapter, and if you're already a badass momma or momma-to-be, feel free to drop a gem of knowledge on me whenever you see fit.